Worst Day

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Well, I was in Kenya until recently working from my laptop. I started a blog after I was prompted by some of my friends and it has been a fantastic experience. I posted most of my work that I wrote while in Kenya and the response was really uplifting. 

Through all this I was so excited because I knew once I came back to the States I would break out the mother lode. I had all my work since 3rd grade stored in my computer and I was really excited to revisit, share and get feed back on my writing. This computer literally had everything, my triumphs and high moment along with some of the darkest times of my life. All chronicled in black and white and emblazoned with funny titles.

This morning I was finally ready to start the adventure of sorting through my work for some gems and laughing at all the poems and short stories I used to think were gold. At first search I find nothing. Unperturbed I keep searching because I knew I was pretty private about my writing and hid it well. After literally tearing through my computer for an hour and finding nothing, I finally break and ask my mom. 

“Oh yea, the computer crashed and your dad did a clean sweep and re-installed everything.” The words clean sweep echoed through my mind over and over again like some monkey playing cymbals in a bad dream. Clean sweep, clean sweep, clean sweep. 

Everything that I am and I have ever written was stored on that computer. My hopes, my dreams, my tentative story ideas that I secretly thought were brilliant but never told anyone, my maturing as a boy to boy man to man boy to man and my growth as a person and a writer. Everything. And now it’s gone. 

 

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11 thoughts on “Worst Day

  1. I am so sorry. I can only imagine that it’s as if some part of you has be severed and you are rendered useless without it until you can adapt. I have lost some of my earlier works and have felt that way (though honestly it was nothing so great as my more recent work). My condolences…

    • Yea, it was really a physical blow. It’s as if I lost part of my past. My writing voice has changed so much over the years and now I can’t see it

  2. That’s devastating! I would be crushed. It must be how people feel when they lose everything in a fire. When did this happen? Can you do a system restore? Sometimes you can get things back if you reset the computer and “backdate” it.

    • Yea, the funny thing was before all this I thought I was on e of those people that dont form attachments to physical things. Sadly nope, the whole entire thing is scrapped. I work with computers and I have tried just about everything I know. But I am slowly coming to terms with it all.

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