Feel Alive

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Sometimes death beckons,  and I am tempted,

not the permanent peace or scary spectre

but rather the dearth of the feeling inside.

Sometimes I  want to drown, an eternal baptism,

absolution solution for the lack within me

that is filled with smoke but has no flame.

Maybe if I were to reach the sun and burn,

feel the flames flickering through my heart

I would be able to bear the darkness within.

But I am dying to breath meaning into this,

so much so that I forget to hate the suffocation,

and inhale frustration to refill my smoke chamber.

Maybe I am a masochist looking for a match,

or an arsonist trying to drown desire in flames.

Perhaps I am deep sea diver searching in silence

or just a mime mimicking the motions mindlessly.

Who Knows?

I am a machine tin man searching for a heart,

a killer consumed,craving the courage to go crazy.

or

Maybe, I am suicidal.

Or maybe, I just want to feel

ALIVE

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One thought on “Feel Alive

  1. This is absolutely perfect, because it emphasizes how badly people want to live, even as they are consumed with an emptiness. But it is that desire to live and that constant fighting that keeps us, that MAKES us, alive. Excellent.

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