Bitter Ashes

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Hot angry tears spill forth like lava, tracing rivers of shame
across the surface of my face, each miniature earthquake spasm
distorting the naturally calm face into a glowering grimace mask.

I am angry.
Livid.

Vein pulsing, blood churning, hurricane seething mad.
Shoulders shake as shudders seize my body,
each silent shiver sending shock waves to my brain.

He slammed the door shut to shut up her words.
She slammed the words into my ears like sledgehammers.
We slammed ears shut against the silence,
the silence after the words was deafening.
I just want to slam shut the beating of my heart,
but to stop the hurt would stop my heart
because my contempt will always taste like grief.

Each broken heart and heavy dream I have passed
on this journey to being someone has chained me.
Roped me into a slavery so pure I could not be free,
so now I simply stagger forward armed with a smile.

I am angry.
But the chains make my anger impotent.
Useless.

Unable to face my fears I combat the midnight horrors
that assault others, subsume their suffering to add
to my growing compendium of scars so that I can feel.

I was angry.
But I am fine now.
Just like I always am.
And always will be.
I am a Libra.

My contempt will always taste like grief.

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Seasons

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She walks like wind and sings like sunlight,
her laugh tickling the trees with new life.
She dances like slow mist and swift birds in flight,
steps lights as leaf fluttering free of strife.

She is ripe and ready, her bounty heavy on her chest.
Her lips cherry red like apples hanging from an orchard.
She is as fragrant as the vineyard and wholly blest.
But still her fiery touch leaves trees screaming, tortured.

She stumbles and from her tumbles a harvest of freedom fair,
seeds once sown now reaped, she is full of thanks giving.
Each step she take saps strength, a house falling is despair
but even still she is beautiful like a dying sun still living.

She is dying and her hair shine white in the harsh reality,
her steps are ponderous and slow, falling like drifting petals.
Still her tongue is sharp and deadly, slick with duality
dying and deadly, still she sits and silently she settles.

Mother Nature walks the earth like a prancing child and doddering crone,
her seasonal affects affecting the earth and sky that she rests upon.

Smile Anyway

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Momma Gump said that life is like a box of chocolates,

because you never know what you are gonna get.

She lied.

Life ain’t easy unless you were born with a silver spoon

and even then there are holes that money can’t make whole.

 

Sometimes life will punch you in the face and spit on you,

closing the doors to your house and leaving you homeless.

Smile Anyway.

Sometimes life will knock you out and kick you as you fall,

waiting until you begin to hope and then closing the door.

Smile Anyway

 

Sometimes life will break you and beat you into the ground,

shattering your bones and trying to crush your spirit with stress.

Smile Anyway.

 

Life is cold and uncaring sometimes and it will cut you down,

taking your car and smashing it like a toy, leaving you cut off.

Smile Anyway.

Life will molest you and try to strip you of your humanity,

desecrating the holy temple of your body with scarred memories.

Smile Anyway.

 

Sometimes life will leave you high and dry, darkness blinding,

depression sinking it’s teeth into your soul and refusing peace.

Smile Anyway.

 

Smile Anyway because to smile is to fight, to spit in the face

of danger and to tell like that you will not be cowed.

Smile anyway because smiling is beautiful in a way that only

souls can see and you never know who needs that smile.

Smile because even though life is a cold hearted dog

she is beautiful and like Pandora she is more than the negative.

Smile because every time you smile that candle shines bright,

the only light that keeps the darkness at bay, so smile bright.

Infect another with that joy because sometimes a smile is all you

are, sometimes smiling is all you have left to offer the world.

Look at the problems and the darkness rising like a mighty army,

and smile.

Not because you are brave or because you are foolish.

Smile because you are afraid but you still have hope.

Smile because you are alive and even in the deepest darkness.

A smile shines brighter than a midday sun on Mercury.

Smile anyway ­čÖé

How To Cheer Up A Girl You Love

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When a girl you love is feeling down you must remind her that the valley is dark and lonely

But remind her that she does not need to be afraid of the dark because she is bright,

like lightning bugs that dance the night away and glowing from within, they do not fear

the dark but treasure it because only in darkness can they let the world be blessed with light.

She might feel lonely but it is your job to remind her that loneliness is a choice

and while you still breathe you will be there like a heated blanket in the winter,

she can choose to use you as a place of safety or not but you will still be there at her side

you can remind her that sometimes it is OK to be afraid, it’s Ok to run away like a sprinter

but remind her that tomorrow she will have to pick up her cross and carry it like only she can.

She will probably doubt you and tell you that you don’t understand and she won’t be wrong

because you cannot understand what she is going through but tell her that you can feel

without understanding and you can have faith in her ability to conquer and be strong.

Remind her that butterflies were not born queens but crawled before receiving wings.

Tell her she is beautiful, because it is true and because she needs to hear it

and tell her that she is perfect because it is not true but she needs to hear it

and tell her that she can do it because you believe it and she needs to hear it

and tell her that sometimes it is OK to fall but remind her that winners never quit.

Apologize for the cluttered cliches but remind her there is truth in every cliche

Tell her she is both butterfly and firefly because she glows deep and shines bright

and remind her that world is her oyster and even if that makes no sense still say

it because maybe then she will smile and the sunlight will break through the clouds.

Or maybe she won’t because sometimes clouds are hard to break through.

Tell her that is OK, because even in the storm and gray she still makes you so proud.

Remind her you love her and hope that in the end, that is enough.

Learned Ignorance

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This is no poem,  not in the traditional sense. 
It’s a show em all expose of our lack of common sense,
Common decency is gone as people are reduced to common denominations.
Words, like blows become currency, and currently the nominations
For worst human being in the world is a close race
Between just about everyone that comments about race
On any online forum filled with hate filed under funny.
But honey,  that ish ain’t funny and I’m tired of acting sunny
When I’ve been cracked open and spilled sunny side on a plate
Served no sweet revenge but broken dreams and steady drips of hate.
Though trolls cavort and cackle on online message boards
Spilling out the garbage that most people can only hoard
And hide in their quite disapproval and sideways glances,
I am not here to lambast or lament our missed chances
But rather look at the cause of this venerable disease. 
The ignorance is cultivated,  untended it would cease.
Except the school accept false teachings
Rewriting history to obscure to white wash all our reachings
We are taught ignorance and fed fermented falsehoods
That leave us broke and stuck living in hoods. 
The intended ignorance that grows ignoramus intellectuals
Incapable of conceptualizing our power,  so we stuck in perpetual
Warfare in a war that quite frankly ain’t fair. 
So I don’t blame you Internet warrior, you only dare
Defend your ignorance.  I blame the system that allows it
And creates and sells it. 

When Words Spill

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Sometimes words slip out, like the time you called her mama

even though you knew she was your teacher but it just slipped

because she was warm enough to make you forget the drama,

the choking sobs and windmilling arms screaming I hate school.

And sometimes words slip out from lips like people slip on ice,

gems of comedy gold, muttered retorts like muffled gun fire shots

leaving a legacy of momentary twinges and laughter if nice,

or a shattered bone or friendship if vindictive or mean.

But sometimes words slip like tires on ice, spilling forth, accident-

ally saying I love you before you’re ready or crushing someone’s

dreams and leaving scattered pieces of silence behind, dent-

ed relationships left smoking on the side of life’s lonely highway.

Home/Heart

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“Home is where the heart is” she whispers,

silent syllables beckoning, her eyes deep.

She, my muse, my siren, my heart — calls

and I cannot help but answer

Like a sailor thirsty for salvation for skin dry and parched,

I let myself drown in the promise of peace.

Her siren call silent but ringing like a bell,

“Dinner is ready!” it rings, come and savor me.

Come and consume me whole,  become me!

In the beginning was the word and the word was made

flesh.

So eat me. Rip me into pieces so you can swallow

and let me grow like a seed within you until you walk tall

like a red wood giant. She pleads with me.

I am weak and she is too honest for me to forget.

like a child broken by the world with only a blanket to hold,

I clutch her to my chest in impotent  jealous rage

but I am weak and I must let her go free.

So here I stand ashore, battered and broken

safety blanket tossing in the wind like a flag to claim my existence.

I am here it declares boldly, I exist.

Here I am letting her be free, letting her grow,

branches reaching for the sky, hoarded in heart no longer.

Home is where the heart is, she says

But I let her go free for my heart can’t contain her.

Be free, I say, tasting the words, tasting her fly