Chapter One-The Nightmare



The room was filled with balloons and the floor was carpeted with bubble wrap. The balloons looked like normal balloons but seemed to bob strangely in the air, as if filled with something. A small child is huddled in the corner of the room, fearfully facing the only exit to the room; a large red door. The door begins slowly begins to open, creaking loudly in the process but  no one but the small boy seems to notice. The door then shuts and the balloons and dancing guests part as an invisible force makes it’s way towards the young boy, the bubble wrap crackling with each step. The small boy whimpers and his lips can be seen mouthing “Stay strong my boy, Stay strong my boy”.

His lips quiver as he keeps muttering the mantra under his breath, eyes fastened fearfully on the advancing force. Then clenching his fist, he resolutely faces the creature as if determined to face whatever challenge comes his way. Suddenly the balloons start exploding violently, spewing puffs of color into the room. POP! POP! POP! Each pop shattering the silence like a shotgun blast. The colored fog that billows from the balloons eats up the air in the room and transforms it into a mystical shadow land, the chairs, tables and people acquiring almost ethereal qualities as they are consumed by the fog.

In the fog that is created, a silhouette can be seen. A blank area where the fog can con penetrate, and it is advancing on the young child who is now standing, fist clenched and face scrunched in concentration. The crowd, oblivious to the action bursts into song “Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Kevin…” The happy joyous song striking a sour chord, each burst of merriment underscoring the young child’s advancing death. The irony of a celebration of life on the eve of his death seemed to register on the young child’s mind. He glances fearfully at the incoming  menace and then with a shout charges into the mist hoping to get lost in the crowd and make his escape through the door. He moves faster than he has ever moved before, running as if he has gained wings, but before he can even reach the edge of the crowd the shadow is upon him. He can feel the cold clammy hands gripping his neck and drawing him back as if by sheer force of will. He struggles, his legs pistoning and arms flailing but it’s as if the very air is against him and he is drawn back inexorably to his doom.

His flailing starts to slow and his body begins to grow limp. There seems to be no escape. Then from the resounding silence that had come after the balloon explosion and songs, a voice booms out, filling the room with sound.

“Boy! The whistle, blow the whistle boy! Remember what your father said, when facing death, blow the whistle!!”

The boy, moving as if through thick jello reaches for his chest where the whistle hangs. His hand rests on his heart for a moment and he can feel his heart trying to rips it’s way out of his chest. Grabbing the whistle and struggling to bring it to his lips even as the invisible hand crushes is throat, he blows with all the air left in him. The whistle’s piercing scream fills the air and the room is consumed by it. Time stops and the room is silent it the midst of the sound, each person frozen as they were. Then the aura of death, darkness and confusion is shattered and so is the room and everything else in it.

Still screaming, the echo of the whistle still ringing in his head, Kevin lurches upright, hitting his head on the top bunk. Panicked he looks around, eyes darting from place to place, thoughts running rampart in his head like stampeding buffalo. Where am I? What’s going on? Who…?

The realization hits him as he look around and sees the walls of his room and the scrunched up sheets laying in disarray and his bed that looked as if it was the victim of an aggravated assault. Sweat drips from his face and he rolls over and wipes it on his pillow in disgust and whispers “Why does this keep happening?”




I have always been alone

My soul split and incomplete

like a sheep fresh shorn

I am naked in the face of despair

my heart battle strong

but to fight with foe unknown

and when to trust can be wrong

Woe me, alone

Oh so alone

My Future Love


I miss you so bad it hurts
My life feels like a thunderstorm with no lightning, all noise and no light. 
Girl,  you are the light of my world, the moon in my midnight madness.
Your taste is so sweet and tender that my lips ache for you
Sweet like the last drops of a milkshake made of caramel crunch and the nectar of Gods
I slurp you up, your taste already fading and leaving behind an exquisite longing
You smell like comfort and chocolate chip cookies fresh out the oven
When I lay in bed late at night I can almost smell you besides me 
As if you just left the room
My love,  my heart, my soulmate.
I miss you more than I miss me and if I had to pick finding me or finding you I would pick me.
Because you deserve only the best I can give and until I find myself I don’t deserve you.
It took God six days to make the world, but thousands to sculpt the perfect arch of your eyelashes.
He paints a sunset every night to test the colors for your eyes
And he gave felines grace so the world would understand your stride
Your step is lighter that a butterflies kiss but stronger than a mothers love 
You are perfect and divine on the outside but when compared to the inside
Your body is the shadow of a shadow in a desert on the sun
Your mind is sharper than something really sharp and clearer than invisible water
Your personality is, well if there were words to describe it then it wouldnt be your personality.
You are gentle as a mothers loving embrace and as rough as a mothers loving embrace and a perfect balance
Your heart is bigger than the universe, each beat a big bang that expands it even more
Your soul is familiar 
Almost as if I had seen it before 
So familiar that I know it better than my own because it is our own
You are the yin to my yang, though I am not really sure what that even means
All I know is 
I am laying here at night, alone, and I miss you.
I miss your laughter that echoes somewhere in my heart
I am here alone and it hurts that you are not here besides me
So I write these words to remember you and to bandage my heart
I miss you my love.
And though we never met, I miss you more than my childhood
I will wait for you my love, sleep and remember to forget you till we meet

I miss you


The hypocrisy of the heart knows no bounds

Even as these words typed pour out to soothe worried spirit

In my belly burn the fires of hell, bright and hotter than the sun

But as dark as the emptiness you leave behind

When you leave, though left you already had

And my heart breaks again and beats again even though

I was the one that let you go for a delusion of myself

But in the letting go tied you with a thousand strings of

Some intangible desire I cannot conjure

And so now as the illusive beat of the drummer boy calls

Your heart and your lovely gaze to the heart of another

I cry these words, my fingers quivering and trembling

Because my eyes will not cry

And my stomach churns and burns with the acid of regret

Because my heart doesn’t really feel it yet

But because my heart is a hypocrite

And the words of your beauty and perfection can only now

Splatter the page with my admiration after I no longer have you

I smile the words to you and type my approval

Though I want to reach out and grab you and throw you on my

Noble steed and ride through the sunset and come out on the other side

But I have nothing to give you but shadows of something more

So I will close my eyes and remember you as you were

My beautiful and illusive rose glistening in the glorious light of a million rainbows

As the light of my eyes illuminated your icy castle

But now as you thaw and grow

Your roots reaching for the ground and your leaves kissing the air

And your petals dancing in winds of change

I can only stop and stare my eyes lit up with the light of a thousand suns

And my heart beating the slow thrum of the universe song

I want to reach out and pluck you my rose and keep you safe and tucked away

But you would wither and die under my suffocating gaze

And I am not cruel enough to think to not share you with the world

So rose princess, ice queen, and stealer of my heart

I cast thee forth to the world that they too may enjoy your fragrance