Give me Liberty or give me Death!

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The night air was cool and calm with a breeze dancing gently across the surface of my skin. As I stood there and surveyed the sky I noticed that the moon was closer than normal and glowing softly through the clouds. I laughed sarcastically inside as I felt a tear trace its meandering path down my face and into my bosom, carving new pathways for the wind, now icy, to assault. The serenity of the night was the opposite of the stark battle raging within me. I swallowed, the sharp tang of vomit and fear stinging my throat. I swallowed again and forced my foot to move forward and hang over the edge. My body fought my every move, each muscle spasming as if to shout “Don’t do this!” But I had spent too many years hating and hurting this body to listen now. Determined I moved another foot forward and now my mind started rebelling. Whispering things and saying that maybe death isn’t the solution and maybe I should just conform. But this too was something I was used to and brushed it away. Give me liberty or give me death I roared within myself to drown the noise of my own protests. I cast myself forward into the night to be swallowed and absolved of my great lie. But just as my body was plunging forward, my dark hair absorbed by the darkness, a hand grabbed mine and pulled me back to the hospital roof. 

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Love against the backdrop of Hate

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I believe in hate. I mean, I believe in rage, envy, fear, anxiety, stress, apathy, guilt and lust, but mostly I believe in hate. I believe in this crippling, trans-formative emotion that changes normal, decent people into monsters, base creatures lower than animals. I believe in this dark perversion of all that is good in the world; this blind, misbegotten behemoth that pervades our society, our very psyche and that is entangled with the very cosmic dust of which we are made. 
                I believe in this emotion that caused the deaths of countless Jews through the hands of an innocent nation controlled by the charismatic and compelling voice of an egomaniacal tyrant. I believe in the hate that made the American forefathers, grand men and women all I’m sure, beat stripes into the ebon backs of their brothers. This hate that drove them to stain the oceans crimson, and make an ivory highway that spans the Atlantic.
                I believe in that hate, the one that sweeps nations and blinds all, but I also believe in the hate that is not as far reaching. The one that dwells in our schools today. The hate that causes a group of boys, high school students to corner, beat, and rape their classmate with a pipe and render him brain-dead simply because they do not share sexual preferences. I believe in the silent hate of averted and disdainful eyes and apathetic attitudes that are all some students ever encounter when they walk into a school. Through no fault of their own, for some reason or another they are branded as pariahs and are ignored, rejected or outright bullied by others. I believe in the hate that drives these students to end their lives and take others with them.
                Why? Why do I believe in this beastly emotion so rank with death, defilement and misery? Why do I glory in its existence? Because. Because of hate, we know true love. Because of the cold, dark embrace of hate that holds the world captive, the singular mundane acts of decency and love become beacons of light, of hope and of sustenance. Because of the averted eyes and snide comments, a smile can save a life and because of the brutal shoves, a hug can save a school. Because hate exists, normal people can hope that by virtue of existing, of resisting the urge to hate and tear down, we can transcend humanity and for one bright moment, take upon ourselves a sense of divinity. That by loving in a world full of hate; we can become something more than our flawed selves. In gross darkness, the light shall shine brightest. This I believe.